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What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

A mother is in the kitchen one day, preparing  dinner for the family.

Her young daughter walks in and asks her, “Mommy, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a while before deciding she ought to be honest with her daughter. She says, “Well honey, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and then they have sex.”

The daughter looks confused so the mother says, “Tht a baby.” clean jokes that are actually funny at means that Daddy puts his penis in Mommy’s vagina. That’s how you ge The daughter thinks for a moment and then seems to understand. Then she says, “Oh, I see. But the other night when I came into your room you had Daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

The mother replies, “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

What’s the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will search for a golf ball.

Three guys go on a skiing trip together.

When they get to the ski lodge there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, “Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job.”

• The most important thing is to have a good relationship with the bike... you have to understand what she wants. I think of a motorcycle as a woman, and I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Valentino Rossi
• Maybe the bike is more dangerous, but the passion for the car for me is second to the bike. Valentino Rossi

amazing wisdom biker quotes

• I am able to ride the bike and think clearly about strategy and tyres. I also have positive thinking. I am very constructively critical. Valentino Rossi
• In 2002 the Yamaha was at more or less the same level as the Honda, better in some ways, worse in others. But in the winter of last year between 2002 and 2003, Honda made a big step forward and it seemed as if Yamaha couldn't quite match that improvement. Valentino Rossi
• I never race for records. The motivation to try to beat the record is not enough to continue. You have to enjoy it. Valentino Rossi
• Once the races begin it's more difficult and there is never that much time for testing. Valentino Rossi
• I was lucky. My father raced bikes. He gave me the passion very early. I had my first bike when I was three or four years old. Valentino Rossi